hanging it up


the memory of reverberations
crackling through her woody veins
rests in satiated acquiescence to hallowed silence

encompassing like a constellation
of silvery feelings
a once ready electricity

simply and immaculately
conjured out to dance
by the hands of an unproclaimed master

weaving his intricate steps
loosely tethered here
tightly woven there

nestling, rising, roaring, abating
bursting with the raw energy
of a gypsy’s wanderings

privy to his innermost longings

the evoking, compelling reticence
of a stolid guitar
holding so much more than memories

— shashi light
     (thanks to Dave Hill for photo of Tommy Emmanuel pictured above)

sweet water rain



if i could sing the music of the stars
i’d shatter every lie
that keeps your beauty inside

if i could weave through canyons
like ancient glacial progeny
that left their blankets on the rocks

i’d splash the canvas of your eyes
with every glint of wonder
that’s budding in your heart

if i could read the glyphs on the cliffs
i’d prophesy what lies ahead
just magnifies our love

if i could rise in the splendor of the moon
i’d spend my glory
piece by piece on a volcano like you

if i could be the winds
that draw their breath across the sands
in a symmetry of lines

like sages wise beyond their time
or friends of mine like Fascal
who once said to me

      i wish i were a piece of ice
      so i could melt when my love is thirsty

but i am only me
gathering my mysteries
like sweet water rain
in a pool of blue sky

 – shashi light
    (thanks to www.JustDesktopWallpapers.com for photo)


 I think I’m starting to get that my happiness does not depend on my success as a musician/singer/songwriter.  I’ve, of course, stated those words often in various ways –  mostly, “My happiness is not sourced outside myself.  It’s about what’s within.”  Right?  So I’m having this aha! moment like Helen Keller at the well.  I’m happy now.  By happy, I don’t mean dancing around all day, giggling and oblivious to the world around me (hmmm . . . maybe I should try that someday),  but I mean, being in that state of peace and allowing the unfolding of each moment to be full and beautiful. 

So why do I cling to the desire of success as a musician?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for success.  I’m all for desire.  But something inside me seems to hang my sense of self-worth and self-respect on my level of success as a musician.  Something hums in the background of my mind, almost imperceptible, mesmerizing, a brain-washing kind of lull, from passed programming, that drones, “I really need to be successful in order to be worthy or self-respectable.”  I’ve never really seen it so clearly as now, as it comes into focus from an old blurred image.  My conscious belief is that I am totally and completely loved, happy, worthy and self-respected, no matter what happens to me in the music career arena.  But revealing itself to me now is this little caveat, previously submerged as a blurry image in my unconscious self . . . nonetheless powerful — perhaps even more so because of its subliminal effect. 

So now in the face of a false truth that has been seductively whispering all that crap about outer recognition being the foundation of my self-worth — what do I do?

All I can say is that there is a deeper truth that stands like a mountain in the near distance, as I travel down the road of life, while these tall, brown grasses lining my path are just passing.  My deeper truth is, I am already living happily ever after.  It’s a good feeling.  I’m getting it!!  Yay!  It’s very freeing — like chains falling off.