reflections

Sometimes I look at the world and think, I’m so different from everyone else I don’t understand things.  I don’t get what this world’s about.

And then I surmise that if I had a partner I wouldn’t care what the rest of the world thought of me because here would be this wonderful person who thinks the world of me.  I would be loved and accepted just the way I am . . . no need to conform to the ways of the world . . . no need to walk down the street feeling like a total stranger . . .  because here would be this person who understands me and shares some of my idiosyncratic ways and views; and has some of his own that I get.

Obviously, having a partner that fulfills those needs, and then perhaps building a relationship based on those needs, whether consciously or subconsciously, is fated to crumble — unless the building of it becomes the gaining of a self-appreciation, a self-endowment of love, a self-acceptance and an ever-evolving realization of, “OK, I’m different.  Yay!  I’m different!”  A celebration of self!  The celebration of the unique self.

Sometimes it feels lonely to be unique.  Sometimes it just does.  But that usually passes, I remind myself.  Unique people are the ones who change the world.  Look at Jesus and Buddha and Gandhi and Dr. King, Rosa Parks, Maya Angelou, Abraham Lincoln, Vincent van Gogh, Albert Einstein, Helen Keller, Mother Teresa . . .  and countless others who live silently courageous lives.

It’s good to love.  It’s better to love for love’s sake.  The needs will always be there but the foundation of partnership need not be built on the emotionally fluctuating factor of need.  But rather let the bricks grow stronger in the sun.  Let the surety of love without reason or logic — just a steady knowing, incomprehensible perhaps — shine its beauty through and through, transforming each layer into something that mirrors the eternal.

Real love.  What is it, really?  Perhaps a reflection of what the stars dream of, and yet not so diaphanous that we, in the flesh, cannot catch a glimpse of.

 

thanks to: www.wikipaintings.org  for image of van Gogh’s “The Starry Night”

 

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