Recently, I found myself in a situation that took me, with uncanny realism, back to an aspect of my childhood that I don’t hold fondly in my memory — or actually hold anywhere in my conscious awareness. It was such a shock to my system that I found only tears to express what I felt for that child – for her suffering and for her utter loss of the realization of how much she deserved love.
“This is so strange,” I thought. “That child can’t be me. I live such a fulfilling life, and I’m surrounded by love and appreciation.”
So I spoke to her, explaining that she is completely safe now. She can let down her guard. She can trust life. What and where she was back then, doesn’t bear on her moment-to-moment empowerment to have and be what she chooses. It was an emotional exchange. I still feel that surge of tears when I think of her. I think it’s hard for her to see life differently. But I think she’s willing, which is all I can ask of her. So, I suppose, we will continue our conversation, and more importantly, keep allowing love to flood this experience called life, in trickles or rivers or oceans.
Gaining a sense of deserving ease, joy, love, satisfaction, and the plain old goodness of life, seems to have been a major theme in my life over the past several years. It’s been a very rewarding journey (though at times, I wouldn’t have described in exactly those words) as the path keeps taking me higher and higher, with surprises around each bend. I love being able to say, “Let’s embrace the journey,” knowing that all of it is an ever-evolving kaleidoscope, sparkling with new insights, courageous first steps through unknown territory, finding treasures of new ways to nurture myself, exhilarating self-discoveries!
I like the way Ganga Ji puts it:
“I have always failed to accurately describe my self-discovery, although this failure is inseparable from the beauty and the profundity of the discovery. It has remained free and alive and undeniable.”
Pretty awesome, this thing called life!