this special season

I woke up on December 24th and looked out my window and spied a large female deer in my neighbor’s yard, lazily munching on remnants of summer’s plethora of green grass. Soon there came into view a young buck, followed by two young female deer. I smiled at their comfortable grazing, feeling safe together, feeling the goodness of life in every sweet blade of grass. Not planning or calculating or checking off lists, like I had been doing - just enjoying the sun against the cool winter air on their greyish-tan backs accented by short, white-lined tails. I stood at my window in my PJs, soaking in the peace they emanated, smiling at my good fortune to have this beautiful sight grace my early day. (I took the picture above, this summer in Los Alamos, NM.)

I had been thinking about the upcoming year and what adventures planned or unexpected might await me. I had also been contemplating the many incredibly wonderful things that have filled this past year, and how simple day-to-day living has taught me so much. I had been thinking about, as I’ve been doing the eight-to-five thing, how unnatural it feels to spend my days in an office in front of a computer, because I’d much rather be singing, dancing, writing, running through a meadow of daisies (yes, I’m that poster child).
Then I realized that no matter what I’m doing, whether it’s sweeping the floor or performing at Carnegie Hall, I can be in a state of complete joy, just like those deer, accepting life as good and satisfying at any given moment. Actually, I didn’t just realize this, it’s been an interesting theory I’ve been rolling around in my head for many moons. But the proof has been showing up in my life more this year than ever before. I take time to breathe deeply when I feel irritated, I see myself more clearly through the eyes of love, I ease into forgiveness much more quickly and easily than before, I understand that my imperfections are just places for me to grow, I don’t insist on being right, I allow my vulnerabilities to show, I don’t have to be in control because I know that ultimately I do have a lot of control over who I am. . . so many cool things that I’m learning from dealing with people and expectations so different from me.
I think one of the most significant things I’ve been learning about is listening to my feelings and being honest to myself about them. It sounds like a simple thing but I have often not done that from ignorance or fear or shame. And now from that honest place, I feel the power of well-being, because that’s where change begins – from self-awareness. At least, for me, it’s been a sweet path of growth and self-love.
Wishing for you simple pleasures to fill up your moments and years, and sweet realizations of self-love. Isn’t it nice to have a special time of year to express the love we hold in our hearts? May 2019 hold many sweet wonders for you!
With Love,
Shashi

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